The Year Everything Caught Up With Me: 29 Lessons That Stuck
On the 27th of July, I turned 29.
After a year marked by endings - the shutdown of the startup I built for seven years, the end of a long-term relationship, and a deep reckoning with my own mental health - I've found myself in a different kind of chapter: reflection.
This isn’t a victory lap. It’s a pause. A chance to look back not just at what broke, but at what survived and what it taught me.
These 29 lessons weren’t all learned this year, but they landed differently now. Writing them down has been part of rebuilding myself. Sharing them is my way of opening the door to other founders still in it, so we can build something stronger, together.
On Resilience & Inner Strength
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Just Keep Getting Back Up. Like Captain America, resilience is getting back up after you've been knocked down, especially when no one is looking.
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Grieve Your Losses. Whether it's a product, a team, or a startup, it’s okay to mourn the end of something that mattered to you.
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Life Doesn’t Pause for Startups. Big life moments and big startup moments collide. You have to carry both at the same time.
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Let the Wreckage Teach You. It's easy to reflect when things go well. It's harder - and more powerful - when you're piecing yourself back together.
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Redefine Success. It's not just about exits. It's about the growth, the people you helped, and the person you became along the way.
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Vulnerability is a Superpower. Asking for help, admitting when things are hard - that's not weakness, it's strength.
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Turn Blindspots into Strengths. Acknowledging what you don't know is the first step to mastering it. Hiding from weaknesses makes them dangerous.
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Don't Let Anyone Weaponise Your Fear. If someone uses fear to control your decisions, it’s a red flag. Fear distorts your judgment.
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Your Origin Story is a Strength, Not a Weakness. Where you're from or what you lack on paper can be your unfair advantage. Own it.
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Labels Can Empower or Diminish. Don’t let others define you by shorthand. You're more than a stereotype or a box on a form.
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Startups Can Break You. The pressure to grow at all costs can turn dangerous. Don’t lose yourself in the narrative. Burnout, breakdowns, and suicidal ideation are more common in our world than we admit.
Protect your mental health like your startup depends on it; because it does.
On Startups & Execution
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Naivety Can Be a Gift and a Trap. Being naive about the problem can spark creativity. But being naive about the business model – who pays and why – is fatal. Anyone can have an idea. Not everyone can turn it into a business.
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Respect the Hustle, All of It. I worked at McDonald's before I paid myself. Never beat someone down for doing what they need to survive.
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Being a Great Builder Isn’t Enough. You Have to Become a Businessperson. You can write elegant code, ship features fast, and architect a beautiful product - but if you don’t understand sales, pricing, finance, and go-to-market, the startup won’t survive. Learn the business side early. It's not optional.
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Adapt or Die. Every pivot we made came from paying attention to real problems. Survival is about adaptation.
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Always Follow Your Gut (and Taste). Your intuition and creative sense are your most reliable co-founders. Trust them, even when logic says otherwise.
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Try Not to LARP. Don’t fake it. Don’t posture. Don’t “provide value” for the sake of looking busy. Work on solving the problem. People can feel the difference between performance and substance.
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Build with Integrity. Beyond what's legal or technically possible, ask: “Am I building something users can trust?” That’s the only question that matters.
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Your Users Will Show You the Way. The best ideas came from listening to what people already cared about, not what we thought they needed.
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Wonder More. Be curious. Ask dumb questions. Explore side paths. Curiosity often unlocks your next big move.
On People and Relationships
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Founder Loneliness is Real. Find Your People. You don’t need a big circle. You need one or two people who get it.
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Trust is Your Most Valuable Asset. Guard it Fiercely. Misplaced trust in "experts" nearly derailed everything. Stay sharp.
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It's Okay to Let Go of What Isn't Supporting You. Even if it hurts, stepping away from what’s weighing you down can free you to move forward.
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A Co-Founder's Loyalty is Worth More Than Gold. The right partner sticks with you through the ugliest parts of the journey. That’s everything.
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Pay It Forward. Help other founders. Be honest. Share the scars. You might be their lifeline too.
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Startups Begin with Founders, but Must Be Built by Builders. Having the idea is only the start. Vision alone doesn’t grow a business. You need to build, scale, hire, and sell. That’s a different job, and it’s okay if it’s not yours.
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Build a Network, Not Just a Product. The relationships I built—through FSJam and beyond—led to investors, mentors, and lifelong allies.
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A Great Mentor is a Lifeline. The best mentors support you, not just your business. Find them and hold on tight.
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Kindness is a Strategic Advantage. It builds loyalty, creates safety, and makes the journey less brutal for everyone involved.
I’m walking into 29 with scars, but also with more clarity and compassion than I’ve ever had. I’m not who I was a year ago - and I don’t want to be.
The next chapter is unwritten, and for the first time in a long time, that feels like freedom.
Fear means we’ve stepped into the unknown, been tested, and chosen to stand tall anyway. We’ve seen the worst and we’re still here. That’s strength. That’s hope. That’s what’s next.
If you're building something through the wreckage too - I see you. Keep going.
As I build what's next, I'm pouring my energy into Consent and c15t, an open-source privacy framework. If these lessons resonated with you, a star on GitHub would mean a lot.